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This past week I (Sgt. Steve) had an amazing opportunity to present at the SEFTOA conference. I got to meet so many  FTO’s from all over the nation. I made some awesome new friends and had some great conversations about the challenges that we are all facing. I also made some foolish mistakes, fell short, and re-learned some things the hard way. That is what I want to tell you about in this week’s newsletter. That and how I used a USMC grunt tactic called FEBA to somewhat salvage the situation and overcome the mess that I made for myself. 

Last week was a whirlwind: I released my first book and made my debut at a major FTO conference as a vendor. My schedule was overflowing, and just when I thought I had everything under control, a curveball was thrown my way. A convention speaker dropped out at the last minute and I was asked to step in and fill a two-hour slot. Unfortunately, all my “go-to” topics had been covered by other speakers. As a result, I had to create fresh content while managing meetings, logistical issues, travel, book promotion, and networking. 

This was 100% my fault: I knew damn good and well that I had a lot going on and yet I still said "Yeah, sure I can do that." The obstacles and stressors kept piling up, my sleep was reduced to 2-3 hours per night. My nerves were shot. So, what do you do when you are exhausted and you can't take a break? What do you do when you can't take a time-out and relax? What do you do when the situation requires some motivation, but you really don't feel like being chipper, social, upbeat, or outgoing? Well, I think the best course of action is to put on your FEBA. 

When Enthusiasm Falters: The US Marine Corps is known for its relentless motivation, and I learned a few tricks during my 4-year tour. Sure, motivation's easy on the 4th of July with fireworks flying and Lee Greenwood's 'Proud to be an American' echoing. But, what about when you're halfway into a 20-mile desert march, carrying 80 pounds, dehydrated, exhausted, and injured? It doesn't feel motivational, it feels terrible. We Marines had a solution to that problem: 

FEBA or Falsely Enthusiastic Bullshit Attitude: We'd tell each other, "Put on your FEBA". We'd get loud, and defiant. We'd taunt our tormentors, the elements, the universe, saying, "I love it, give me more pain". We'd push our leaders to take us further, faster, harder. In acting exceedingly enthusiastic, a strange thing happened. We actually became enthusiastic.

Turns out that the ancient Stoics were talking about this 2000 years ago. 

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”

- Marcus Aurelius 

“Every habit and faculty is confirmed and strengthened by the corresponding actions.” 

- Epictitus 

Habituation: Before scientists understood things like neuroplasticity, the Stoics understood the simple fact that if you repeat a thing enough you become habituated to it. The path that people take the most becomes the trail. This is why we draw our firearms repeatedly and endlessly repeat defensive tactics moves. Many times your emotions and feelings will follow your actions and the things you vocalize.

Applying Tactics: Last week, when fatigue hit, when tasks swamped me, and when I felt overwhelmed, I put on my FEBA. Slapped on a big fake grin, and pushed myself to be upbeat. Soon, after a few "overly nice" chats, my attitude started to mirror my actions. My enthusiasm for the mission reignited, and I found my motivation.

Confession Time: I'll admit it, I overstepped. I attempted to juggle more than I could handle, overconfident about my abilities. It backfired. The irony isn't lost on me. I had to scramble to create a presentation on Ego control, while my own ego had me over-committed. Between sleep deprivation, lack of rehearsal, brand-new material, and technical issues, it's a wonder I wasn't booed out of the room. I just barely scraped through the presentation, and for that, I'm grateful. I took away lessons that will shape me into a better man and a more polished public speaker moving forward.

Growth and Gratitude: The experience also gave me the opportunity to talk to you about FEBA, and its link to Stoicism. This experience will probably form the basis for a chapter in my next book. As always, the obstacle is the way. 

-Sgt. Steve